Back in the day, when I first started joining Twitter and writing in this blog, it was to de-stress. It was fun to come back after a long day of meetings and project deadlines, to indulge and spazz over CNBLUE, especially Yonghwa. It was a means for me to forget about real life for a while.
I remember making friends and sharing ideas. Discussing about Yonghwa’s drama roles, the clothes he wear, the bags he carried. We’d talk about his latest music compositions and what it means. What was he thinking when he wrote that? Wow…he even knew the meaning of ‘high horse’ and ‘nonplussed’? Did he write the lyrics with a dictionary? Literally translating his feelings from Korean to English? There were plenty of opinions, some of which we agreed on, and some which we didn’t but it was no big deal. We respected each other’s opinions, we laughed over it and deep down, we know we love Yonghwa to bits anyway. The biggest crisis for me back then, was when Yonghwa changed his hair color from brown to orange. I went nuts! Lol! I know it sounds really shallow but it was a simple and happy time. We know we don’t only love him for the color of his hair and that beautiful smile on his face but we loved talking about it incessantly anyway. I liked going to Twitter then. It meant that I’ll always get a smile or a laugh from the people I got to know there. I may sound really naive but I thought of the people I met in the CNBLUE fandom as friends, not fans. We were in it together.
I don’t know when, how, why or what happened but today, the atmosphere in the fandom is no longer the same. While Twitter used to be a happy and positive place for me, it is now filled with gloom, hatred, accusations and anger. Twitter is now a battlefield with fans blasting the management company for unfair treatment, incompetent PR and groups of fans tearing each other apart due to differences in opinions. While I can understand the issues that were being brought up and why, I can’t understand how it has to come to this. I supposed it boils down to the fact that it is undeniable that CNBLUE (and Yonghwa) fans have very strong and diverse opinions. We will never be able to agree but how is it that we can’t agree to disagree and stop calling each other names? When I go to Twitter today, I don’t see many of my friends anymore.
I’m not writing this to offer any suggestions or solutions for I don’t have any. What I’m doing is just getting these feelings off my chest and finding my own way to stay as a Yonghwa and CNBLUE fan. I saw the latest pictures of the CNBLUE boys celebrating Jonghyun’s birthday. I see those heartwarming hugs. Yonghwa and Jonghyun, Jonghyun and Jungshin, Minhyuk and Jonghyun. I see that their brotherhood is as strong as ever and it finally brought a smile to my face. While I worry that the fandom may implode one day, I don’t think I’ll have to worry about those 4 boys fighting each other. Their love and bond seems stronger than ever. And that’s where I found my reason to stay. That, and my love for Jung Yonghwa.
Live. Laugh. Love 