Learning to Love

I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure.  I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.  But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best – Marilyn Monroe

In my Korean drama world this week, my OTP (one true pair) is facing their very first serious crisis. Girl was caught in an unfortunate scandal with another man (they were set up) and Boy, instead of getting angry, took care of Girl’s feelings first by taking her far away, to shield her from the backlash.  Girl, when found out, wanted to rush back to defend Man and to proclaim their innocence to Society.  Boy, in his desperate attempt to protect Girl, issued an ultimatum to her.  “If you leave, we’re over”.

This is the scenario that happened in Episode 11 of Heartstrings (You’ve Fallen for Me).  When the episode aired, Shin (Boy) got a lot of flack for issuing the ultimatum.  A lot of viewers were outraged.  How dare he give her an ultimatum and make her choose?  How selfish and controlling can he be?  People were quick to judge and poor Shin was condemned for his despicable act, however noble the intention. 

My question is this.  Has anyone ever thought of how Shin feels? 

His girl lied to him and ended up in a mess of a scandal.  I’m sure that hurts.  However, instead of getting angry at her, his first instinct had been to protect her.  To take her away so that no false accusations would ever reach her ears.  Imagine his heartache when Kyuwon’s (Girl) first reaction upon hearing that the scandal broke had been to leave immediately to ‘save’ The Other Man.  No amount of reasoning on Shin’s part could convince her to stay and so, in a last ditch attempt to keep her from getting hurt, he blurted out the ultimatum.  Kyuwon made to leave anyway.

Now, let me re-phrase my question.  Has Kyuwon ever thought of how Shin feels? 

Has she ever considered his feelings in all these?  He is her boyfriend afterall and he clearly loves her.  And yet, she wanted to leave him, amidst all his pleadings not to, to go protect someone else.  All in the name of righteousness. 

Forget the ultimatum, which I agree, should not have been uttered in the first place.  In other words, don’t see the ultimatum as just an ultimatum on it’s own but rather, look at the big picture.  Is it worth it?  Is it worth jeopardizing your own relationship, and the love and trust of your partner, for another person totally unrelated, albeit a good friend and mentor?  Admittedly, it is the right thing to do and the person that you saved would probably be grateful to you for the rest of his/her life.  And then what?  You have your friend’s gratitude but not your partner’s love?  How good would that make you feel? 

Here’s what I really want to say to Kyuwon.

It is not worth it,  my dear Kyuwon, to sacrifice your relationship for a shot at heroism.  A relationship, once it loses its love and trust, will never be the same again.  Why drive a wedge into your relationship for the sake of someone else?  That someone else, after you’ve saved him or her, will move on.  Your partner is someone that can (will) stay with you forever.  Learn to love him, like he’s doing for you.  Please, I implore you.  

Of course, I’m not asking you to be a coward.  You should go stand up and proclaim your innocence.  You should save your friend.  But, don’t go alone.  Take him along with you.  Look beyond the ultimatum and show your man that you love him and that you considered his feelings.  Then, by all means, go and save the world if you must.

Of course, we still don’t know what is Kyuwon’s decision.  That is for us to find out next week.  But I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she’ll do the right thing.  I’m hoping that she’ll do the right thing.    

Edit : 10/08 – Thank you Kyuwon, for not leaving Shin.

The Beauty of Silence

While watching Ep6 of Heartstrings (a.k.a. You’ve Fallen for Me), my current Korean drama addiction, I came across this scene that is so beautifully done that it literally took my breath away.  In the scene, the two leads were taking shelter from the rain after fighting.  No words were spoken but one can sense a connection between them as they stood next to each other, hands reaching out to catch the rain.  The cinematography is simply beautiful.  Silence does speak volumes.  I loved this.

 

Just a note on Heartstrings : This is a drama produced by MBC starring Jung Yonghwa of CNBLUE and Park Shinhye.  It’s a story about youths and growing up, set in an art college where our two leads are music majors.  I love it for its simplicity, beautiful cinematography and awesome music.  The fact that it stars Jung Yonghwa doesn’t hurt either.  Even if a youth story isn’t your cup of tea, this is worth checking out just for the music and cinematography alone.